W W W . E X O D U S T E R . C O M - R A H Z E L.&.P A T T O N

Rahzel & Mike Patton, DJ JS-1, DJ Still
@ Irving Plaza, NYC
3/11/04

As one of the guys with me stated towards the end of the evening, "this is like a terrible nightmare and I can't wake up." Though this statement was partially generated from the wrath of a day's work and the upcoming early morning start, in some respects this poor soul wasn't far off as such details will delineate. As will also be demonstrated this should have been entitled "Rahzel featuring a couple of random noises by Mike Patton."

After not being to Irving since the late 90s for a Sebadoh show, I had forgotten the space of the club. I was surprised that I remembered it much bigger and the place where I have spent most time at shows in the past four years - Cat's Cradle in Chapel Hill - was roughly the same size - rock on! Yet, still large place, Irving was filling quickly as gianormous afroed DJ Still took the stage with an introduction by Dalek. For the next twenty minutes or so DJ Still leaned over the turntables like looking for ants and producing an eye-gougingly slow wall of noise. With no vocals of any sort and almost no changes in tempo, beats, etc., the set was mildly painful but relatively quick.

He was followed in a bizarro-world way be DJ JS-1 of Queen's Rock Steady Crew. JS-1 was a bundle of excitement and energy bouncing around the stage will mixing rock with beats covering everyone from Zeppelin to Nirvana. In addition, JS-1 had the elaborate Irving lights all sequenced to add some great emphasis and atmosphere to the show. At the end, he threw out a bunch of shit to the overzealous scenester crowd. While JS-1 is phenomenal at what he does, I wish he could have added some ingenuity to the set besides from just mashing rock with hip-hop et al.

Given the five minutes between the first two sets, the tension built as the crowd awaited the Human Beat Box, Godfather of Beats Rahzel from the Roots and crazy-man, rock demi-god Mike Patton (of every band in the known universe; most recently, Fantomas and Tomahawk). And they waited. And waited. And waited. The waiting stemmed from the vast stage set and tons of instruments and electronics that techs were pouring over the stage with. Oh, wait, I'm sorry I was thinking of the Faint. No, there was nothing to set up except to make sure that the mics worked and Patton's electronic box worked - which no one actually ever checked. Yet, they took well over a hour to come on stage after JS-1 and in the meantime Irving didn't even drop the screen as they had at the beginning to show the creative images but worst dialog-ever movie Waking Life. I was convinced that only two reasons could explain this unnecessary/over-the-top/I'm a fucking rock star waiting time. One: Mike Patton had OD'ed on Heroin and Rahzel was taking pastrami sandwiches and slapping him with them to wake him up. Or two: by accident Patton and Rahzel were sent to Iraq where they both were hit by improvised explosive devices that sent them to Rammstein Air Force base in Germany, then to Walter Reed in DC and finally sent back to NY. If neither of things occurred then I'm sorry to say that they were just being assholes.

The dynamic duo could possibly be forgiven for the above situation if they came out and absolutely rocked. Well, Rahzel did just that, while Patton tried to play catch up and ran around like a ten year-old. The sheer spectacle of Rahzel doing his shit for long periods of time was stunning - truly stunning. Patton would just try to make weird sounds, then howl, then walk around then go over to the box and make a sound - and this was an event that cycled. As such, it was a poorly coordinate plan of attack by these veterans that it is inexcusable - read: Patton can't improvise like Rahzel so he shouldn't try. It would have been much smarter for Patton to actual sing something - as he has a great voice - or fully accompany Rahzel with an array of electronics. To be able to stand through their set you really had to be a huge fan of Patton and Rahzel - I'm talking devotion, I-have-a-mural-of-you level.

The show was such a huge disappointment that it is hard to really put into words. Unless it becomes well-established that Rahzel and Patton carve out some real plan of coordination then I'll definitely never see them again. Though Rahzel doing his own show would still be a draw. As a final note on Irving, shame on you for throwing people out of the show who were smoking. Not that I smoke and I truly hate smokers, but throwing people out for first-time offenses with no warnings posted around anywhere is straight up fascist. There were people who did that previously and they are generally known as the Nazis. I know there is a ban, but you need to institute some type of leeway. How about this? While the crowd was fucking standing there with our thumbs up our asses waiting for the rock stars to take the stage make an announcement over the PA - not like you don't have enough equipment in there - stating that smoking is banned and you are subject to being kicked out. Is that so hard? I forgot, it is. And that is one of the reasons why Bush is in the presidency, because you are too damn lazy to do anything.